[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]In my 48 years I have never given much thought to the great pains that people go through to improve their physical appearance. Sure you hear about this or that celebrity going under the knife to look younger, sexier or whatever reason they might have had. I have often laughed at some women who have had their eyebrows ripped out, only to have them either drawn on or even worse tattooed on to look like a surprised clown.
Many of my female friends have told me…come to think of it all my male friends as well, that I have the ugliest back and shoulder hair on the planet. I never gave it much thought. Yeah, it’s unsightly, but I can’t reach my back and I didn’t want to go through the pain and cost of having it done.
Fast forward to yesterday. I have been in the Philippines for more than a week and my adventures thus far have given me many opportunities to experience various and unusual firsts. By now we have traveled from the bustling city of Manila on the Island of Luzon to the bustling coastal city of Kalibo on the island of Aklan. This is a stop over before we reach the resort town of Boracay.
“You are not going to Boracay looking like that!’ When I first met my friend David’s Auntie Sandy she told me, “We get you waxed!” I thought, “I already ate Balut, how bad is getting waxed?”
This establishment experienced three more firsts. I had my first ever message. I had my first ever back and shoulder waxing and lastly and most importantly, it was the first back and shoulder waxing of an American man for my esthetician, Nikka.
Nikka is a beautiful young woman who had the unwanted task of clear-cutting the forest that was my back. She is slight of build and has a good sense of humor. The latter she demonstrated by gagging at the sight of the job that was ahead of her. We exchanged pleasantries as she stocked up on the supplies she was going need to finish the job. Every time she grabbed more wax and tape and looked back at me she had the look of Roy Scheider in Jaws. “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
Like all the firsts I experienced on this adventure so far, an audience was present. David and his mother were close at hand to witness and record for posterity the waxing of the Great White Ape. We were all laughing as Nikka applied the first of many applications of wax. “It’s all fun-and-games until Steve looses a large swath-o’back-hair.” David even took a turn ripping off a strip. It took two tries, but he got it. Yes, it was painful, but it wasn’t like what Steve Corel experienced in The 40 Year-Old Virgin, or so I thought.
Thirty minutes later and half of my back was smooth as an abino’s…anything. Nikka by this time was practically exhausted, but still determined to finish the job. “Why didn’t you ever have this done in The States?” Nikka laughed. By this time she had me turn around on the table because she couldn’t reach my other side. To get proper leverage, she would place one hand on my butt as the leaned into pulling off the strips she had applied. Finally, my back and shoulders were hairless. David’s mom suggested I get the top of my chest waxed as well. When I turned over to expose my hairier front, Nikka gave me a look like I was going to kill her. “How much you want done?!” I assured her that all she had to do was just my shoulders and the top of my chest. “It’s going to hurt more than your back.” She. Was. Right. KELLY CLARKSON!
An hour and a half after she began, I was painfully smooth and due to the dense coverage I had, I was event paler than I was when I first got to The Philippines.
The cost of this procedure? 750 Pisos or $15.55. I tipped Nikka 2,250 Pisos or $50.00. More to the point, the equivalent of a month’s wages to many people in the country. When I handed her the money, I told her she earned every Piso. Nikka burst out laughing and tears were in her eyes. She and I for that matter will never forget the experience.
Last I heard Nikka has resigned from the spa to pursue a less stressful profession; she is now working as a technician to defuse unexploded ordnance left over from WWII. Somewhere in a field of rice she is recovering from her nightmare.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
