[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“You cannot afford to live in potential for the rest of your life; at some point, you have to unleash the potential and make your move.”
Your heart is thumping out of your chest as you’re staring down the barrel of your dreams coming true. This could be that moment of when preparation meets opportunity, that moment you’ve been hoping for so long for and very much deserve. You have to make a choice. Are you going to rise to the occasion? Or will you let your nerves get the best of you and crumble? I sway in the middle of these two because I doubt myself immensely. I’ve let a lot of possible life changing opportunities slip through my grasp because I’d freak out at the very idea of being successful. I’m terrified of being successful. Actually, I’m terrified of not only being successful but happy. These are the two things I consistently want to acquire so badly in this life – yet I am secretly horrified of achieving them; and am very guilty of sabotaging this beautiful dream of mine, along with with other things, on numerous occasions. It’s much easier to give up on ourselves than to give ourselves a true chance at living the life we’ve imagined. We fill the holes with excuses. Then we revise each beautiful notion we have. Slowly settling and compromising on so many of the “little” things that, in our youth, we couldn’t wait to try to manifest into reality while letting our imaginations run free. As we age and ‘mature’ into the ‘real world’, we start to forget all of the important things that make us happy to the core. We settle on the more mundane ways of life, because it’s certain and steady, and everyone else is doing it and “that’s the way it should be done.”
What did you want to be when you were a child? Who are you really? Who is your core being? Have you attempted to make that your reality as you’ve made your way through life? Or did you brush it off because it was just a silly dream? Allowing yourself to believe it is not something you could turn into a reality so its become your ‘dream job’ instead of your actual job? It becomes a distant something, and your head is left in the clouds wondering for the rest of your life, what if. Since I was a young girl, I’ve loved everything to do with filmmaking, making people laugh and smile, and wanting to “be the change you wish to see in the world”. I’ve dreamed of these bigger than life sort of dreams for as long as I can remember, and though I’ve tried to let them go, I’ve never been able to shake them. They are rolled into who I am. It’s in my DNA. Those things are what make up my dream and have remained with me since the first day I thought of all the possibilities. Daydreaming consisted of all of these things every single day. While I was feeling like I was wasting my life away doing something that I knew I wasn’t put on this planet to do. I hovered in Hobbyville and worked the atrocious, but necessary, nine to five in various labors. When it came down to the nitty gritty, I didn’t want to give myself a true chance at my success because everything I wanted was on the other side of my fears. What happens when things actually start to turn out well? When you find yourself consistently happy because you’re actually doing all of the things you enjoy and not letting fear take over any longer? Wait, be happy? That’s ridiculous. Could you actually handle it? Truth: We’re all unique and have something wondrous to offer this world. Give yourself permission to take a chance on YOU.
In January of this new year, I’ve already been faced with good challenges, ones that could very well be the start of a future that is quite beautiful. Knock on wood. If it wasnt for the people in my life who are pushing me to be my best and break out of my comfort zone because they see something I don’t fully believe just yet, I would have sabotaged this incredible opportunity already. I had the most outlandish anxiety attack during the hour leading up to an interview on one of our network’s podcasts. An interview with a friend I had invited to be on the show! I was simply asked to kind of take the lead during this chat with him, and I panicked. I could have simply, written down questions and prepared myself but rather, the irrational switch went off in my head and I spazzed out and had a fear attack. Not to mention I was doing this all in front of two grown men who were watching me wide eyed, probably wondering if ‘Aunt Flow’ was visiting or if I just needed to be fed some chocolate. It was embarrassing but at the same time very fascinating to see how I was unfolding and what triggered the meltdown.
The night before we had our first, in the flesh, interview with an iconic band that has been around since the ’70’s, and is still leaving a mark in the industry. While we we’re doing that, more doors opened and we found ourselves invited to cover other events that had red carpets and even more known faces. All of these things I had faith would one day find me. When the time was right. And now I’m surrounded by this glorious wrapping paper of opportunity. It is joyfully overwhelming and I had a moment of wanting to hide and go back to the mundane; where it feels safe but painful.
These little events might be viewed by some as not that big of a deal. But it’s in these little moments that you find out so much truth within yourself. I’m glad it’s all happened because I’ve decided to give fear the bird and not feed into it any longer. It’s a tremendous challenge, and not something that can easily be conquered. But it can be worked on. I deserve this and I’ve now started to change the process of my fearful doubts and will ‘fake it till I make it’. For the first time ever I am really giving myself a chance and I am choosing to believe in me. Our minds can make the simple things in life very complicated when they don’t need to be.
It’s okay if you fail. That means you’re trying. That’s how we learn and become better human beings. I’d much rather make the push for what seems impossible and give it my all and crash and burn in the attempt than to not even try. I dare you to break free from the chains, your happiness is all around you, just open your heart and your mind. Go get ‘em tiger.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
