Tis The Season

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”Having someone to love is FAMILY.  Having somewhere to go is HOME.  Having both is a Blessing.” – Unknown

The holiday season tends to cast joyful times and yet we also find ourselves reflecting and being somewhat in a bluesy state of mind.  It’s like a scene being pulled out from many Christmas movies, where you find yourself standing outside of some home in the cold, staring through a window and watching these strangers smiling, laughing and loving one another.  Oh, and not to mention, a lot warmer than you are. You’re watching and wishing you were inside that immaculate house scarfing down those scrumptious deviled eggs, eating a slice of that pie and sipping on that ‘to be spiked or not to be spiked’ eggnog, all while being surrounded by these happy faces.

I have found myself in this exact daydream for awhile now.  Just a year ago and the years before that, I’d focus on what I didn’t have rather than what I did have.  I’d see that I was a single mom, renting a room, not close with my family but had great friends and working and barely making ends meet.  My mom was living out of state and my dad and I were on and off again.  I see these folks that I grew up with making families of their own and being happy.  I’d focus on the other pieces of my family, my cousins and my aunt, and wished I was part of those memories because they seemed to have it all.  Everyone was getting married, were still married, getting engaged or in a relationship of some sort.  Sure, my parents divorced when I was about 5 years old and I got to have 2 Christmas celebrations each year.  But as an adult you hope for something different with your children. I was on that path and it was all ripped out from underneath me and taken away.  My child’s dad started a secret relationship while he was engaged and expecting with me.  He then married this broad, and they became a family, and they are making all of those memories I longed for all of my life with MY daughter.  It wasn’t fair. The grass was definitely greener on everyone else’s side but mine.  But the truth is, you believe what you want to see, even when the rest of your team is telling you otherwise.  There are always going to be unanswered questions, and we answer these wonders to give ourselves a false closure.  I made myself feel all of these depressed and lonely things.  My feelings were valid, and of course we are all allowed to go through our own personal grieving process which does take time but at some point you have to realize that enough is ENOUGH.

What I see today is that I was rich with love and family this whole time.  Sure, nothing went according to plan but my friends and some family have been by my side every step of the way. They’ve held on tight and have taken care of Emily and I by making sure that we are good and have the things we need if they can help it. I have an amazing and beautiful little girl that I will have such a special bond with for the rest of our lives, and no one else will ever be able to take that away, even if they try.  What I’m aware of today is that even though my life has been all over the place, there are constant things as well. I’ve made the best family, it’s all genuine, they’re there for me and won’t abandon me, like some people in my past.  I might be renting a room but I have a home with two good friends of mine.  I may have been laid off this month, and may not be able to provide what my heart desired for Emily this year but we have a tree and there will be a few presents under it on Christmas morning.  She will be happy because she is loved.  And I may be going on a couple of years of being single now but that’s perfectly okay because everything I could possibly need at this moment in time, is surrounding me.

Every moment, big or small, will all happen when you’re truly ready for them to come into your life. Not everything is meant to be, we all go down separate paths but it’s up to you on how you choose to handle your events.  Why focus on what you don’t have when you can focus on what you do have.  The past is the past, so live in the present, and open your eyes and see all the things surrounding you that are a blessing.  I’ve learned that we must be happy first before the rest can follow but I do believe it will find you when the time is right.  And remember that grass mentioned earlier, it turns out that it isn’t always actually greener on the other side, in fact, when you jump over that fence, it could very well just be astroturf and not living at all. Have faith, don’t force and don’t settle either.

My challenge to you this season is to smile.  The moment a thought of what you don’t have comes into your mind or what you might think would make it better, dismiss it and think of what you do have. Hold on to that. Embrace your life and accept what is because it’s all yours.  Make the most of it and each day will get better as long as you keep being extraordinary everyday.

– B.E.E.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]